As I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed this morning a Vogue article posted by a fellow photographer caught my eye, “10 Wedding Rules to Break”. I assumed it was another article saying brides don’t need a professional photographer because #cellphones. At this point, I’ve heard every argument in the book about not hiring a professional but I I was curious to see which angle they played so I clicked through…
Unfortunately, ditching a professional photographer wasn’t the worst thing I read. If I were Vogue I would be…… embarrassed. So, I’m going to tackle all their points from not only the perspective of a wedding professional but also feminist and bride.
Vogue decided wedding bands are passé; a misogynistic symbol of years of oppression. Labeling a woman, or anyone for that matter, as property or belonging is so last year- and that is exactly what a wedding band does. I agree that the real bond between two people is more important than a piece of jewelry. But, my left ring finger is encircled by a gold band and I don’t feel oppressed at all. I am excited, I am proud, and I am still just as bit as free as I have always been to go where I please, when I please. I run my own business and am supported by my husband in my success. And most days, I even have dinner on the table by 6. Why? Because I choose to do so, because I love him, and because I am a damn good cook and I enjoy it.
Ditch the rings if you want, but don’t belittle them.
Girls, Girls, Girls
Who needs a maid of honor? Plenty of brides, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. They have wedding showers and bachelorette weekends. They drink wine, pouring over Pinterest boards planning their dream day. Who wants to wear crinoline and tool? Lots of girls, actually. It even makes them feel beautiful. I may not have chosen it for my wedding, but I’ve definitely worn it before. Spending hundreds of dollars on it sucks but blame the unbelievably inflated wedding industry prices not traditions. And who said is has to be a girl anyways? I asked my brother to be my best man, and was proud to have him standing next to me when I said “I do” (he be in a tux, not crinoline).
Maybe it’s the commonplace mentality that our close friends are “our bitches” that got us here in the first place.
I’ll just leave this here (insert *bitches)
I MAKE CASSEROLE ALL THE TIME. Ok, not actual casserole but my mom got me kitchen supplies for Christmas and it was the best Christmas everrrrrrr. Seriously, I used my kitchen aid to make pasta and it’s basically heaven. And can we just say that sending a flower girl around with a basket asking for money is TACKY as all get out. Are our guests just there to fork over cash? Or better yet, why not just que the DJ to throw on Rihinna’s “B*tch Better Have My Money” and call it a night. If you’ve already got all your life needs figured out (I personally think a panini maker sounds bomb) then there are better options like honeyfund.com. Or provide your guests with information for your charity of choice.
Hiring a Professional Photographer
So, Vogue actually suggested letting your drunk friends loose with a disposable camera? I have no doubt those shots (the few that turn out) will be hilarious. But, take it from me, drunk people don’t take good photographs. Just think back to your snapchat story last weekend…. need I say more?
The Big Reveal
I have spent almost every single day together with my husband for the last three years. Which means he’s seen me without make-up, he’s seen me with the flu, he’s seen me at the gym after an hour of cardio. Yes, he’s also seen me dressed up for a night out. But we are low key people and I’d rather fish and hike than have a five course meal in heels. But I wouldn’t trade getting dolled up and having “that moment” when I walked down the isle (we both balled like babies). It’s one of my favorite to photograph, as well. There are a lot of things in life that aren’t necessary. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t good. If we’re talking strictly necessities here, then why not scrap the wedding entirely. After all, the only thing “necessary” for legal marriage is the license anyways. But where’s the fun in that?
Something Old, Something New
According to Vogue this is, “Ew”? I wore a necklace that belonged to my Memé (french for Nana). It is a delicate silver chain with an emerald cut blue stone. She kept it in the bottom right drawer of her jewelry box. When I was a little girl, every time I went to her house I would open that door and carefully take out the necklace, admiring it. She would tell me one day it would be mine. Now I understand and wish I could have her back instead. But there was absolutely nothing “ew”-worthy about my something old and blue. I wore wear it proudly in honor of a magnificent woman. What’s the point? That’s the point.
Walking Down the Aisle With Daddy
My dad escorted me down the isle at my wedding and he had every right to. I know that I have been blessed to have a father who is not only still with me, but built a home filled with warmth, safety, love, and respect. Not everyone has that. He took me on dates when I was little girl, he still opens the door for me everywhere we go, and protected and provided for me for 26 years. I was “safely ensconced in the nook of his arm” as I had been since I was born and he held me there. It was a symbol of a lifetime of love. I wouldn’t have it another way.
If you don’t want a first dance, fine. More power to you. But again, lets remember that not choosing something for yourself doesn’t mean the choices of others should be discredited.
Feeding Each Other Cake
Ok, Vogue. You got me on this one. But cake is good so…… I kept this one just for the sake of cake in all its yumminess.
The Elaborate Honeymoon
An elaborate honeymoon sounds aaaaamazing. But they are expensive and there are so many affordable options out there and creative ideas. But if you can go on a honeymoon, go. I don’t think you’ll regret it.